YvonneChoco(✿◠‿◠)

If you love somebody, let them go. 
If they return, they were always yours. 
If they don't, they never were. 

- Khalil Gibran 

[Copied from Qreez's facebook status. Kinda true isn't it?]

But WHO can really do this? I mean, "let go"..

The critical moment that you've got to make decision whether to let go would be really struggle.

There's someone that can really afford to take and let go easily.
On the other side, there's someone that easily falls for it and couldn't let go. 

Obviously, you'll be really suffer when faced this kind of situation if you're the second type for the above statement.
And unfortunately, I'm the second type.

Or I should said I'm a bit different which I will not falls for it easily, but I'm those couldn't and not willing to let go easily. How could you let go easily when you've been falls for it? I mean, can you really bear the sadness and tears after you decided to let go?! And those stupid silly-but-happy memories will keep flashing back in your mind, non-stop! HOW? (T_T)

Well, someone told me stop thinking for those crap that NO OUTCOME and making yourself stuck in the sadness and tears everyday.
Someone told me to let go slowly and slowly, but not completely. 
Someone told me to do whatever I want and be myself, as long as I'm happie with that.

And thanks! For those consolations and concerns.. Appreciated !
I'm not to ignored or don't-want-to-listen for those advises, I'm just couldn't make it sometimes.
I'm trying very hard to be happie recently, at least I do smile and laugh when I'm facing peoples. That's not acting, that's just the way I use to numb myself up for sadness maybe?! Keep talking and laughing like an idiot to covered up all your sadness, so that the peoples around you wouldn't feel sad because of your sadness on your face! Okay people, I'm going to LAUGH as much as I could!

What've happened means happen, we are just HUMAN and we are not GOD, we couldn't turn or change it, so what we can do is just face it and accept it. It's hard to face, moreover, to accept. But, we got to isn't it? Okay ya right I'm saying something optimistic to make myself feel better or consoling myself?! Apparently, I'm just the one who can say and talk like super optimistic but I couldn't do that in reality! That's life! Ewww! *Hopeless!

P/S : Test postpone AGAIN, yesterday class cancelled (My lecturer is on medical leave) It's a good news indeed since I didn't study last night due to my sudden-emo-ness and I........ Okay forget about it! 
But still, I got an assignment submission on tomorrow and I haven't even started it damn! 
Wish my sudden-emo-ness will go away ASAP so that I can finish-up my assignment on time kay! 

Lastly, something to share..

[Change is the very nature of life, welcome it.
No glass ever became sand again; No bread ever became wheat; No ripened fruit ever became a flower.
Welcome change, and choose what kind of glass you create, what kind of bread you bake, what kind of fruit you harvest.]

So Hello everyone! Let's welcome 'change' in our life. 
We are HUMAN, GOD's creature, but we are not PERFECT! We are still in the process of learning, learn to be HUMAN or learn to be PERFECT?! Whatever lah !!

So, learn it and be strong people. Let's do it together!

Cheer up!!!!! ( for myself )

21/11/2010,10.20am..

I'm supposed to be working on my assignment which going to be due on tomorrow. 

Waking up early not because of the assignment but something else. I'd really tried very hard on it but I could't do what I've promised to myself and others. It's just too suffer and hard for me to forget and ignore everything. I'd told myself I have to no matter how hard it is, I'd promised to myself I have to no matter how sad it is because the thing I treasure much is gone and will never come back to me, I'd told myself I have to accept everything without any complaints. But when I woke up from a dream just now, I know I can't! I'm so useless! I've just promised to myself few hours ago but I just can't do it. I hates myself for being so useless and weak. Everyone were asking me to be strong be tough and don't care about it but how could I forget the thing I'd treasure for so many years???? How could I??? I'm not willing to let go.  I'm really not willing to...

My heart was broken completely and it's not gonna be healed. The feeling of heartache is much more suffer than headache and stomachache that I'm having now.

There's no right or wrong when comes to judging.

[ You will only realize how much you care and treasure it when you're going to lost it, forever! ]

Should I leave? T__T

Loves.

His Princess [ Love Letters From Your King ]-by Sheri Rose Shepherd

I found this book in my sis's room and it's a gift from her friend. It's a nice book that consist of the 'love letter from your King'.

I found some nice phrase in the book and wanna share it out here.

‘It's Okay to Cry'
-I see how hard you try to handle your heart, and I know you want to live a life without heartaches or pain. I'm asking you to take a step closer to your Father in heaven by crying out to Me when you hurt. Let me heal you. I don't expect you to pretend that pain is not real. It is truth and tears that will give you the freedom that I want you to know. Now let go of that part of your heart that only I can heal. Let your heavenly Daddy hold you while you cry.

Love,

Your King who wipes away your tears.

It's one of the letter from the King, the Lord to his daughter. [ It's okay to cry ]

I confessed that I likes to cry whenever I face problems. Sometimes I feels guilty after the CRY. I should've to solve it instead of crying all the time isn't it? I should've to settle it asap instead of wasting the time for crying isn't it? 

And I cry almost everyday recently because of something I care and scared to lost.

I'm trying very hard to stop myself of thinking too much, I'm trying to convince myself that the pain is fake. But I just couldn't make it. 

The heartaches and pain do existed and couldn't be healed by the positive thinking that I tried to do everyday.

Who could heal that?! 

Found a nice song [天真] from 弦子..

Nice lyric and melody as well..

回憶還是溫熱的
但承諾 已經冷卻了
我的天真 在淚水裡沉淪
孤獨它讓我無法負荷

不用假裝還愛著
捨不得 還是放開了
我的天真 早就碎成遍地的忐忑
失去了所有顏色

這次我真的痛了 真的徹底醒了
我試著灑脫 換來的只是傷痕
我愛到痛了 你卻留下我一個人
埋葬我的天真

還能夠說些什麼
當快樂 已經掏空了
我的天真 早就碎成遍地的忐忑
努力拼湊著 卻再也無法完整

這次我真的痛了 真的徹底醒了
我試著灑脫 換來的只是傷痕
我愛到痛了 你卻留下我一個人
埋葬我的天真

我哭的累了 沒有夢是好的
別再說愛我 你給的全是悔恨
我愛到痛了 你卻留下我一個人
埋葬我的天真

I try not to have high expectations of people because it just sets you up for disappointment..

Promise can be easily broke and neglected, so we shouldn't fully trust it, it might sets you up for disappointment too.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't angry some days. But I really have worked hard to put a lot of the anger and disappointment in the past.

I am who I am and I am happy to being me, for 21years!

So, don't ever think that I'll change and do what you do, I don't wish to!

On the other side, I don't wish others to become me too, don't imitate me, just be yourself kay!

This is what GOD wants me to know, <3

Lastly, I've kept my wounds open for long enough. I guess, the time has come to let go, to heal.

Keep the lessons and let the pain heal.

**I'm blogging in computer lab now,

listening 'You're not sorry- Taylor Swift' and it perfectly suit my frame of mind now.

Bye!

Loves